Judging Myself (day 5)

     Every Wednesday I go to a good friends' house where, among other things, I drink lots of coffee.  And as you can imagine after a while we are lining up for the bathroom so that we can make room for more coffee.  I love my friends' bathroom.  Not only is it lovely in every way, it has the most amazing mirror.  I look forward to going in there and looking in this mirror because somehow it creates the illusion of a smaller me.  Don't ask me how but it does.  Sometimes I turn around and look at the smaller backside of me too.  I secretly have plans to "borrow" the looking glass.  Don't tell my friend. 
     How many times do you catch a glimpse of yourself and wish for a different you?  Maybe there is that kind of sinking feeling in your stomach.  Maybe you say, "that's me.  I don't like me."  How much time do we spend criticizing ourselves, unhappy with our bodies? We become judge and jury over our own selves.  If onlys become our mantra.  If only I were thinner, if only I could fit in that size, if only I had her hips, if only....if only.
     My dear sisters we have bought into the deception that happiness lies on the outside.  That just as soon as we look a certain way we will find happiness.  Does that mean that we should not be concerned about our weight or health?  Absolutely not - on the contrary I believe we are called to live healthy lives.  However healing begins on the inside and works its way out.  Not the other way around.
     This brings me to our passage for today.  Jesus' brother James is absolutely one of my most favorite people in the scriptures.  James was a revolutionary.  He pointed out the hypocrisy in the church and exposed it.  For example in chapter 2 James argues against favoritism.  "Suppose," he says, "a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.  If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes...but say to the poor man you stand there or sit on the floor by my feet, have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?"
     Suppose you go to a party.  You walk in and are immediately embarrassed because it seems like all the women look so pretty.  Self-consciously you wrap your coat more tightly around yourself wishing you had worn the black blouse - black is so slimming and you wore the red blouse.  With a sigh you remove your coat and stand off to the side.  "Maybe no one will notice me," you say to yourself.  It is going to be a very long night.
      How many times do you show favoritism to others because they are thinner than you?  Or maybe you give others the nod because they have more confidence or in your view, better talents than your own.  We so easily fall into the trap of showing others favoritism because we view ourselves as the "poor man".  We fall into the trap and we judge ourselves with evil thoughts. 
   
Homework
James 2:1-13
1.  Read this amazing passage aloud.  Allow the words to speak to you.  Then read it again, this time pause when any word, phrase or verse(s) jump out at you.  Write those verses in your journal.
2.  When have you judged yourself harshly?  Write down one or more instances where you have done this and ask God for healing and if necessary for forgiveness.
3.  During your prayer time today spend some quiet time just listening.  I know this may feel a bit weird.  But practice makes perfect, be o.k. with the silence. 
4.  Encourage someone this week.  Perhaps you know someone who is struggling.  Be the hands and feet of Jesus to them.  Put a card in the mail, make a call, pray for them and let them know that you are praying.  Live outside of yourself and see what God does!

Dear sisters I continue to pray for you. May you sense how very much God loves you.  Remember His mercies are new every morning - great is His faithfulness to you!